when i was little i always said my favorite animal was a dog but that's just because i wanted one really, really bad. it's gone from dog to unicorn to polar bear to penguin to horse to well, loving all animals. yet for some reason, i see myself surrounded by owl figurines. i never thought of owls as particularly cute or appealing in the aspect of cuddling with, but for the past year i have bought so. many. owls. i have an academic owl figurine right on my desk, above me, so when i look at him he gives me a look of either satisfaction or disappointment according to how hard i've worked that day. so far i haven't received many kind looks. on the tv there is a teeny tiny wooden carving of two owls sitting together on a branch. i got it at a flea market on the north carolina/south carolina border. it was 50 cents and i consider it to be one of my most treasured finds. when i first saw it, the owls reminded me of a pair of friends sitting on the couch and watching tv, thus explaining why i chose the top of the tv for the two little owls to live upon. just a little ways over are two owl candles on top of my windowsill. one of them is my best friend's and the other is mine, who was a gift from my best friend. they look extremely similar so we claimed that they were twins. except candles aren't allowed in dorm rooms so we had to hide them over thanksgiving break. speaking of thanksgiving break, i managed to purchase yet another owl to put in my room. he's made out of pine cone and feathers. i'd say he's the most realistic looking. and sometimes realistic looking fake owls can be quite creepy. i hope for the best with the new addition to my owl family. all of the figurines i have right now are hoot owls and i'm on an endless hunt for a nice barn owl figurine. last summer i went to key west and managed to end up visiting a bird rehabilitation center. when i caught a glimpse of the barn owl i had to catch my breath - he was so beautiful! his feathers were crisp white with grey spots and his eyes were big bright and focused on my every move. honestly, i was a bit scared, but moreso in awe of his handsome features. if anyone were to raid my room, it would be clear that my favorite animal is an owl. though i still really, really want a dog, i would have to say that my favorite animal, as of today, is an owl.

home, why i love it:

1. the way the smell of it clings to your hair and your blankets

2. taking a hot shower without worrying about pissing off seven other girls

3. locking yourself in your room, because you can

4. space

5. the fridge is full. so full.

6. cleanliness, clean lines

7. washer and dryer availability, sans onecard swiping

8. the doorbell sound

9. the smile you get from mom when she sees you

10. fresh fruits and vegetables

11. the fireplace

12. the lamp on my nightstand that i've had since i was eight

13. sleeping in mmmmyyyyyy bbbbeeeeddddd

14. preparing food on an actual counter-top instead of on top of a record-player

15. "dinner's ready"

16. taking up the whole couch, in all of its wholiness

17. mom placing a blanket over you when you accidentally fall asleep

18. laying on the floor and staring at the ceiling

19. dad's bucket of salty sunflower seeds, which is never witnessed to be empty

20. warmth. in every corner.


the concept of family and home interests me. i often wonder how trivial it is what kind of family and home you can be placed in just by destiny or fate. i could be living in my neighbor's house instead of mine, or be placed in a family of royals or thieves. but we are given our family, or rather we are given to our family, and we learn to love it to the last drop. families grow larger and never stop growing. a family could be gigantic if you think about it...like the show on TLC where there are eighteen children in the Duggar family. that would equal at least eighteen grandchildren. at least. in each house there is a family and each home a box of memories. i wonder if memories made with our family would be the same if we lived in different homes. would christmas still bring back the same feelings of crackling open wrapped gifts and ooey gooey chocolate chips sticking to your thumb when you sneak a bite of the first batch of cookies out of the oven? or is the feeling more related to the emotional aspect of christmas...as to say that if you spent christmas in a different home that you actually did all of your life, the memories would still be the same? this would suggest that home is not where the heart is, but rather where the mind has been. i suppose it would differ between people, where some remember the more physical things and others reminisce in the more intangible, unseen things, like joy, or love. a cold home to one person could be a buttery warm slice of toast to another.

bottom line; houses are boxes of time and families are molded by memories so if you put them both together you're bound to get a whole lotta special shapes.

traditionally, one of the perks of turning eighteen years-old for many is the legal ability to get a tattoo. i can't believe how many of my friends actually went out and got one on or the day after their eighteenth birthday. i enjoy tattoos, and admire how they are slowly becoming a bit more culturally acceptable, by which i mean that it's not just prisoners and thugs that have them anymore. i've noted teachers, chefs, business-owners, and other people of pretty high working power who have a tattoo or two, and i think that's awesome. i definitely wouldn't want it to become too normal or integrated into the corporate world, because that would result in many people having the same exact tattoo and the standards of what is considered "professional" to drop. however, i have definitely subtly desired a tattoo since i was sixteen. i have gone through different illustration, text, and placement ideas for long hours at a time, looking through endless forums and blogs online of people who share and talk about their tattoos. miami ink and la ink have become one of my favorite tv shows, which my mom can't stand, but i enjoy seeing people get a tattoo that symbolizes a big part of their lives, especially portraits of their family members or even pets. those are my favorite. my parents have made it abundantly clear that they will indeed leave me financially abandoned and without a home to come to if i ever got one. this is the part that really puts me in a predicament...do i just decide that it's my body, not my parents', and get one despite their threats?...this would involve me feeling guilty of the wrong i would doing to them by getting a tattoo when they're the ones who have supported and provided everything for me for all these years. *sigh*...it's a tough choice.

here are some of my friends' tattoos:







those above are all of Nick's tattoos. he goes by "Nick Edge" by his close friends. he takes a lot of pride in being straight edge, which means that he does not take part in drugs, alcohol, or premiscuous sex. he has the more tattoos than anyone i know.




this is James' tattoo. he got it recently, by the same tattoo artist that Nick gets all of his done by. the artist's name is Ashley Love. she is by far the best tattoo artist locally. her work consists of really clean lines and colors; she specializes in traditional-style tattoos.




Savannah's tattoo of a Daphne and Apollo sculpture. it's a big tattoo, but it turned out looking really special. i prefer black and white tattoos more than colored ones, since the color choices can be iffy and harder to maintain.




on the left is my friend Eli, who is also my best friend's boyfriend. he's into drawing and graphic novels, so he decided to draw his own tattoo. in case you can't quite tell, it's of an octopus invading (for lack of a better word) a man's head. it's unique and i don't think anyone else around has this tattoo. again, i like the black and white better.




i'm pretty sure this is my favorite tattoo out of my friends'. my friend Brandon got this tattoo and as ode to Salvador Dali, who is hands-down one of my favorite, if not favorite artists of all time. the illustration where this elephant is from is titled "the elephants". i have a copy of it in my dorm room.


as you can see, i am vaguely surrounded by people who have really good tattoos. this is part of the reason why i am tempted to get mine so badly. all i want to get is a quote tattooed around my ankle/foot area. i am still trying to decide between these two quotes:

"et incepit fidelis sic permanet" which is latin for "as loyal as she began, so she remains". this quote really represents remembering who i am as a person and always keeping in mind where i come from. i feel that it's really important never to lose your true self for the sake of others, and this quote captures that perfectly.

the other quote is "this is a beautiful way". this quote comes from my favorite poet, e.e. cummings. the original quote is "and if feeling: that if day has to become night - this is a beautiful way" from one of his poems. this quote to me symbolizes the beauty in change. change is inevitable, and if things that seem so perfect and good in my life must change, like the day changes to night, then it should always been seen as a beautiful thing, rather than a mysterious, dark thing. i know this quote will comfort me always when i question why certain changes in my life occur.

a few various things...

1. for breakfast, i decided to be healthy and eat whole-grain waffles with lite syrup and sliced oranges. the orange though, sucked. i was expecting it to be juicy, orange, almost with a slight glimmer in the light with all the little orange juice particles showing. but the orange i took my precious time to peel and slice was pretty much the opposite. it was yellow and dry. BLUGH. i hope others out there know what sort of dry, yellow orange i speak of, because if you've never experienced the self-pity of biting into a dry orange, you have no idea of the appreciation for a succulent, summer-time orange.

2. my cable is messed up in my dorm room, and has been since move-in day. my mind has been clouded (on top of various papers, assignments, and exams) with Viva la Bam and Parental Control for what seems like forever. due to this situation, i've missed out on the shows i normally watch during my free time like cash cab, project runway, the office, and let's not forget...i totally missed every single day of the 13 days of halloween on abc family. was utterly pissed about that, but have gotten over and it and moved on to developing an even heavier concern for missing the 25 days of christmas on abc family....which if i don't see will mean that i missed out on my favorite old-fashioned christmas movies with the puppet animation like Jack Frost and Santa Claus is Coming to Town. somebody heeeelppp!!!

3. i am debating whether or not to live on campus next year. ultimately, i was set on getting my own place with my friends and having the freedom to not worry about pleasing suite-mates or sharing one bathroom with seven other girls. yet, there are things i definitely am grateful for when it comes to living in a dorm. for example, whenever i have at least an hour between classes, i can scurry back to my dorm and take a cat-nap on my comfortable futon. i don't have to worry about parking/moving my car, or spending money on gas for it (although sometimes i would do anything to just get in my car and go on a long drive). living on-campus allows me to get most things i want within a reasonable walking distance, whether it's peppermint hot chocolate from the starbucks at ram's head, toothpaste from the pit stop, or a withdrawal from my bank account in the pit. living off-campus might make this a little more difficult as i will have to get in my car and drive around looking for the closest store, not to mention if i ever wanted to come on-campus with my car, parking would be a complete nightmare. however, i'll probably be convinced enough to live off-campus because it will mean i can have my very own room and decorate it however the hell i want because no allowed candles, toasters, pets, or thumb-tacked posters is killing me slowly.

4. i have developed an immense interest in meeting new people and forming new friendships. it obviously must come from the environment i'm in, where i feel the need to meet people that i can talk to about chapel hill-related things, as my friends from back home seem to lose interest in it after ten minutes. it is indeed a refreshing feeling to start fresh with people who don't know your entire life story without even knowing you personally. i felt like high school consisted of a lot of that. this time, it's about just enjoying new friends' company and finding those who i can take comfort in when most of what i was comfortable with before i moved here has disappeared from my hands.